Saturday, December 25, 2004

AtHomeDaddy site probs

AtHomeDaddy is goofed up. Don't worry. It looks like a Blogger problem. I'll be back with a Christmas Day update ASAP!

As of 4:45pm, AtHomeDaddy is back up and running. Never could find it, but I must have a bug in the template. REloaded and we are going strong.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Genius Parents

For the first seven months of her life, The Princess has been a horrible sleeper and a worse napper. This past week, we started letting her sleep on her stomach.

Guess what? She likes it. A LOT. She has slept great all week and she is regularly napping a couple of hours at a stretch.

If we had done this earlier, this blog might not even exist.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Let it End, PLEASE

All I want at the end of tonight is a clear winner in the Presidential election. At this point, I don't even care who it is, I just want to hear a concession speech. Hopefully, with tears.

What are the chances that both major party candidates accidentally concede the election. to the other party, at the same time?

Daddies are Good for SOMETHING...

After The AtHomeTrio got home from the Pediatrician's office, the pharmacy and the grocery store this morning, It was 30 minutes past time for The Princess to have her first bottle. As long as she was moving, she is content and never missed the bottle.

As soon as we got home, I got the bottle out of the fridge and gave it a good shake. Too bad you don't have a picture of my face as most of the milk, breastmilk mind you, flew out of the bottle and hit me in the face. YUCK!

Hey TBL, screw the lid on next time, OK?

Once I recovered AND changed my shirt, I was set to feed The Princess, again. While feeding her, my lap got nice and wet. I thought that I had cracked the bottle while freaking out about the earlier spill. NOPE!

This time, The Princess had something wet to share with her favorite guy. Seems like AtHomeDaddy forgot to close up the diaper at the end of the Dr's visit.

Once I recovered AND changed my pants, I was set to feed The Princess, again...

Sunday, October 31, 2004

ADHDaddy is Getting Tired of Advice

Over at AtHomeDaddy, you might have seen the following post, Getting a Response.

The more I think about this woman telling me how to treat my kids, the more ticked off I get. I am pretty sure that dads get a lot more advice about parenting from strangers that moms do. I know this is true in our house. Several times I have gotten unnecessary and unwanted advice from moms "looking to help".

I guess dads just laugh at other dads who look more clueless than themselves. (I know I do!) Next time, I think I'll handle it more directly.

Let's see, how do you spell "Shut up and back-off bitch?" And is back-off hyphenated?

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

The PIAs Strike Again

The PIAs are trying out some new tricks to piss off the neighborhood. Well, truthfully, they are not trying out anything new, they are just out to completely tick off everyone around.

They actually toilet-papered a neighbor's house last weekend, after she called the cops during their last beer-bash. While trashing her yard, they also smashed her pumpkins in the street.

Though they made a mess, they did do a few things right. First off, they got her wrapped right before a rain storm. Nice touch! But mostly, The PIAs were smart because they stayed out of our yard. Wise choice.

I really would hate to do jail time because some moron trashed my yard and wrapped my trees with toilet paper. But, if it had been necessary...

Monday, October 25, 2004

I'll Give You Two Guesses

How long do you think it takes inkjet ink to move through the GI tract of a six month old.

Answer: About 15 minutes

What do you think that mess is gonna look like when it gets through her digestive system?

Answer: Nope. Not even close. It will be MUCH, much worse than that! It was disgusting. Possibly one of the worst diapers I have ever changed. AND THAT is saying something!

Yep, something disgusting.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Another Football Win, Another Missed Party

I imagine the PIAs were at it again last night, celebrating another win. We did not notice, thanks to the never-ending birthday party. I am sure it is not because they were quiet. That will not happen until they all flunk out and have to move home with mommy. Hopefully, that WILL happen, SOON.

Monday, October 04, 2004

I Hate Getting Left Out

The Pi Iota Alphas had another party Saturday night. Unfortunately, it never got loud enough for us to notice. Several of the neighbors were complaining about the noise, and the cops were even called, again.

We never knew anything was going on. Damn.

Now I have to wait until the next PIA gathering to try out KB's winner idea.

What a shame, because I already have the padlock, so I am ready to go...

Friday, October 01, 2004

True Confessions

Yes, AtHomeDaddy did turn on the TV for the Talker at 11:00, so that The Princess could be rocked to sleep.

Yes, it is 12:51, right now and the Talker is still glued to the TV.

But The Princess is still asleep, and the living room and kitchen floors are mopped and the living room has been re-arranged.

Yeah, quality parenting, I know, but the house smells better, too!

Well, The Princess just woke up and it is time for The Talker to take his nap. Man, I just love the days that naps do not overlap. Sigh.

But at least the floors are clean and that funky smell is gone...

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

World Record Pre-Teens

While taking The AtHomeKids for a walk this afternoon I witnessed one of the funniest things in a long time. Several of the older elementary aged kids down the street were huddled around a paperback book. When we came into view they scattered. Hmmm... what kind of book could that be, I wondered?

One of the braver, or dumber, kids decided to let me in on the joke. They had a copy of Guinness Book of World Records and they were trying to look up THE DIRTY ones.

Evidently they are not very good pervs, because the best they had found was a record for the most tattooed woman. He swore, though, that if you looked real close you could see....

No, I did not go tell their mothers. Yes, I do know who their mothers are. No, The Boss Lady will not be telling their mothers, either. If the mothers wanted to know, they would not be letting their boys have smut like that.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Didya know

That if you take Get Up and Bounce Tigger and knock him face down on the rug it looks like he is getting busy with the floor?

Don't even ask what happens when you lay him on top of Hokey Pokey Elmo, because I certainly would not know. That would be sick, you pervert.

A Little Motivation is All I Need

AtHomeDaddy believes he has found the perfect guitar class for mid-30's, fatter-than-they-used-to-be, non-balding, aspiring rock stars. (PSSST.... Hey, buddy, go there to scope co-eds and maybe learn to play the guitar.)

There are a lot of reasons to love living in a college town. Good sports, good music, lotsa co-eds.

And let's just be honest, I did not sign up for the class knowing that 13 of 15 students would be girls with guitars. I signed up online, so how would I have known? It is not like there is some nefarious rumor-mill letting dads and fat old men know where to go to scope co-eds, right?

Thursday, September 09, 2004

ADHDaddy Still Banner Free

So I noticed today that Blogger has a new banner bar on AtHomeDaddy. Guess they have not found ADHDaddy without the banner, yet.

Gotta Google later to find a new solution.

Addendum - Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:25 AM

The banner bar disappeared from AtHomeDaddy. Maybe I hallucinated it. The banner bar has not reappeared over here at all. What a shame.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Props to My Boy

A big "Thank You" and a big wet sloppy kiss from The Big White Dog to my boy, KB for his excellent ideas in response to my post Got Any Good Ideas? from a few days ago. He is a wealth of great ideas for revenge and pranks.

But know this: As of 8:51 pm on September 8, 2004, The AtHomeDaddy does not have a criminal record. That may change to ensure peace and quiet reigns again in suburbia! I'll let you know more about how it works out later. Maybe after the trial. I don't want to reveal too much, because you may be my character witness.

Hey KB, I scouted out the site - access to the switch - NO Problem!

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Guitar Classes Then the World Tour

So we are hanging out at the house, listening to a little music. The Boss Lady asks me, "Who is this band?"

I reply, "Todd Snider".


"Todd Snider"
I repeated.

"Oh, I thought you said Pot Smoker..."

Now that I have my band name, I just gotta learn a few chops on the guitar and TBL has got to learn to not talk to me while I am updating the blog...

Idiot Frat Boys Revisited

OK, from now on, The idiot frat boys up the street will be knows only as The Pi Iota Alphas (The PIAs) - also know as the Pain in the Ass boys - or the PI*s on 'em All Boys, take your pick). This revelation came to The Boss Lady as we were driving to the fabric store to let The Talker pick out a pattern for his Halloween Costume.

So it has been declared: The PIAs are to be know as such until they leave my neighborhood. Hopefully, soon.

Got Any Good Ideas?

AtHomeDaddy needs to get rid of a few idiot frat boys. These insidious creatures invaded our neighborhood last year and they breed like @#(*&%* cockroaches. Celebrating a football win, they partied until at least 2:30 am. Yes, we live in a university town, but we do not live anywhere near the school. These guys moved in when a big house came up for rent.

I am bored with calling the police and going up there to remind them 'Shut the hell up, pretty please'. I know you guys are a lot more screwed up and creative than me, so bring me your best ideas. The closer your idea encroaches to a felony, the more attention it will receive.

C'mon, please. Comments are now open on this blog, just so you can share in the joy of wiping these worthless idiots off of the earth, or at least, pushing them closer to campus. Don't want to comment, you can always email AtHomeDaddy.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Black Truck Sighting

The AtHomeTrio was out walking when a black truck pulled down the street slowly, and then backed up. I thought maybe frat boys had been checking out the blog. How else could word get out so quickly that AtHomeDaddy now has a vendetta.

Luckily, he pulled into a driveway. Turns out this sighting was just a pizza delivery guy. Good thing, 'cause AtHomeDaddy has already gotten puked on today by The Talker. I don't need to get my butt kicked by a frat boy, too. That would likely be the end of my manhood.

Maybe another time, truck-boy.

PS - Don't you think it is kind of sad when you see someone delivering pizzas in a nice car? Here is an idea...Get a clunker to roll the pizzas to the neighborhood and save that ride...

Black Truck

There is someone in AtHomeDaddy's neighborhood that should do the world a favor and drive their black truck into a ravine and die.

We were out walking along the main road into the neighborhood. Dude drives at least 60 on the wrong side of the street to pass two cars. On a residential street. He got within 15 feet of The AtHomeTrio.

I have walked the neighborhood and I think I found him. The Alleged Dude lives in a rent house that has been taken over by frat boys. Time for AtHomeDaddy to explain his feelings about idiot drivers to this jerk. Hell, I think I'll throw in my feelings about frats for free! I'll keep looking for other black trucks, but for now he the prime Dude suspect.

If AtHomeDaddy disappears, just assume that the Dude/Frat re-education did not go smoothly and I had to haul some truck parts into the woods. It should work. The black parts will be easy to hide and there just happens to be a ravine close.

Monday, August 23, 2004


This does not really belong on 'The Dark Side', but it needs a mention somewhere, so here it is:

This is the coolest use of a blog that I have seen, yet. It is helping improve my vocabulary a whole whole whole whole whole whole lot.

Link to be added to the sidebar soon.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Olympics Coverage

Being home last week, The Talker and I got to watch a lot of Olympics coverage. Cool! Today though, I had to cover the boy's ears during a Water Polo match because the commentator was the dumbest man alive and I did not want my son hearing the idiocy.

The commentator was talking about how much the USA Men's Water Polo team has traveled in the past year. He said something to the effect of 'They have played on every continent in the past year'.

'Impressive, I did not know there was a pool in Antartica. Bet it is indoors and heated', was what I was thinking.

The commentator tried his best to rescind the stupidity, but only made it worse.

He said "Excepting of course, Arctica and Antartica"

Well, of course they have not played in Arctica?!? They could not find the @#*&ing place. Cause it isn't a place.

I hope that dude was not a geography major in college. Spent too much time in the pool and the chlorine rotted his brain.

Beatin' the Matrix Part II

Holla at your boy! Thanks to Rick for sharing a little knowledge and helping me fight the good fight. The Blogger buttons are now all gone. Lemme see how long they stays gone.

They probably have rules in their TOS about not messing with the logos... I don't read that stuff, I just click agree. It's how I roll, I'm a rebel.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Beatin' the Matrix

Blogger replaced the Google text ads that I tried to confuse a while back - with a search bar above the title of my blogs last week. If you can see it still, let me know. I found a script online that removed the search bar, because it annoyed me and when I tried to do a search, it never works. I added it to the source code for this blog and AtHomeDaddy.

So for now, no ads, no search bar. Cool! I feel like a real rebel.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Fun with Pharmaceuticals

The AtHomeTrio went to the grocery store this morning. The pharmacy would not be open for 15 minutes, but AtHomeDaddy decided to wait to pick up a prescription. The photolab was also not officially opened, but that staff member took care of customers so they would not have to wait.

While we were waiting outside the gate, the cashier kept glaring at AtHomeDaddy. AHD is used to chicks checking him out when he is wearing The Princess like a Hip-Hopper's backpack, but this lady was not looking admiringly. She was already pissed and it was not even 9 AM.

When the pharmacy finally opened (a few minutes late), she had the balls to ask "Are you ready?"

I did not respond, but I wanted to say "What the #@(& do you think you @#^*ing @#(*)! Are you a @#(^ing moron, or what?"

Too bad I had my hip-hop baby on and The Talker was sitting right beside me in the race-cart, cause it would have been fun to shove those birth control pills right down that #@)%^'s throat so that she would never breed!

But hey, maybe it is just me. Maybe some of her regular customers think she is helpful and nice. (I bet they don't show up before 9 AM, though!)

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Mommy's Day Out

A bunch of the stay at home mommies from our church group are taking their kids to the Children's museum Monday morning. The AtHomeTrio is thinking about crashing that party instead of haning out with the dad's group tommorrow.

The Boss Lady and I have been taking an informal poll to see which of the mommies would be the most scared by the AtHomeDaddy method of child-rearing. Update soon.

Side note:

After hearing about a teen who is now taking anti-depressant meds, AtHomeDady came up with a name for a drug. I should trademark it before revealing it, but I trust you...

Can't you see your neighborhood hoodlum teenager taking a 500 milligram dose of Dopatien (Pronounced - Dope-a-teen). There are several around here who could use a larger dose! I better get in touch with Pfizer.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Nothing Lately

To gripe about. Doesn't that suck?

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Wierdest Family Ever

Met (sort of) the oddest people on the face of the earth this week at the campground. The Talker rides his bike up to a kid from the next site and asks me "What his name is?" The little boy tells us "I don't tell my name to strangers..."

OK, no problem there. Teaching kids stranger safety. Good idea.

But then the mother comes walking up to the three of us and asks The Other Boy "Did you tell them your name?"

He responds, "No".

She finishes with "Good" and then they walk away.

Freaky. AtHomeDaddy will be watching AMW and checking milk cartons for pics of this family.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Time for a Rant

This morning, to escape the rain, we headed out to run a couple of errands. While we were out, AtHomeDaddy decided to let The Talker burn off some energy by running through the mall. While there, the boy wanted to go upstairs, so we headed to into a department store to use the elevator.

Walking through the glass/china section with The Talker and pushing The Princess in the stroller, I stopped to ask a staff member "Where is the elevator?"

Witch, no joke, it was on her nametag, asked me "Why?" and walked away. As she walked off, I told The Talker loudly, "Run wild while I look for the elevator...I'll be back" Not surprisingly, another staff member was there quickly to give me some directions to the elevator. Witch never even looked back.

Ok, maybe her nametag said, Samantha, but I am sure she was a witch.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Google Ads

I noticed that the most common banner ads for this site are for paint websites. On AtHomeDaddy, the ads are for lightbulbs. I know Google has software that pulls keyword to match ads to your site, so I wonder what happens if I just enter a bunch of useless keywords?

Toyota Camry
Monty Python
Microwave repair
Fish hooks
Disney Channel

We will see...

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Doom 3

Doom 3. TBL may need to wait a while to go back to work this August. Seems that I might need a week or two of free time once Doom 3 comes out to kick it's butt. Too bad my navigator is out in LA.

JB, wanna help me beat up another computer game? C'mon remember the Week of Doom? The virtigo, the Dr Pepper on the keyboard? Good times.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Auto Painting 101

The Boss Lady is getting her car painted. The clearcoat broke through on the roof and hood earlier in the year and now the black paint job looks awful. In the process of getting the car ready to paint, AtHomeDaddy priced having 4 pieces of trim replaced, one on each door - just under the window. $300 installed! $300 for 44 inches of black plastic glued to rolled aluminum.

TBL challenged AHD to find a cheaper fix for the door, so out came the paper, tape, primer and black spray paint and off came the plastic trim The newly painted trim actually looks decent. We shall see how well it holds up through the painting and afterwards.

For the $6 spent, AHD could touch up the painted trim every other weekend for almost two years and break even. Hopefully by then someone else will be trying to figure out why this stuff was painted and not replaced. But in the end, it is still an Escort Station Wagon, no matter how much trim or paint!

Friday, June 18, 2004

TBL's Daddy in trouble

First, he gave me my road bike, then I went crazy riding all the time. Now he has passed on his freshwater fishing gear. Since he lives on the ocean, he is no longer needs this gear, so here I am.

Rick Clunn Signature Series Baitcast Reel and Rod ComboThis is the rod/reel combo I brought home. Nice! Now I just have to land a quality bass. Don't know who Rick Clunn is, but if you read this Rick Clunn, will you take me fishing!

TBL's Daddy might want to go too!

Initials in use

AtHomeDaddy declareth:

Initals are now in effect on ADHDaddy. If you don't know who AHD is referring to, then check AtHomeDaddy.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Wanted Dead or Alive: DVD Guy

Anyone know the guy who programs previews to run before the feature on kids dvds? I want his address. I hope someone catches him and ties him to a hard, straight back chair and makes him watch an endless loop of RubbaDubber's previews.

When he is really trying to push me over the edge, he programs the previews so you can't even fast forward through, like the FBI/INTERPOL warnings at the beginning.

He Hate Me!

Sunday, June 13, 2004

National Lampoon's A Contemporary Guide for Stay at Home Dads

A Contemporary Guide for Stay at Home Dad's

The funniest part, is they have it just about right!

Movie Night!

The Life of Brian to challenge Passion. Driving to church, I noticed that Monty Python's The Life of Brian is showing at the cinema down the street. I think I will sneak out some night this week and go see it after the kids are settled for the evening. Does going to movies alone make you a loser?

Actually, I just can't decide if I should go see The Passion of the Christ before. Maybe I should find a cinema showing both.

I am a freaking moron

I have been brushing up on html tags to add links to this site and to AtHomeDaddy. Now I realize that there is a button to write the &%$#*!? tag for me. Found it right after I finally figured out how to write them again!

And then I kept getting an error trying to post this gripe. Ended up with 10 copies of the same post!


Workshop time

I have not been out in the workshop/garage/laundry room/crap pile in a long while. I need to make a couple of cars for up coming birthdays.

Hopefully I can hide while everyone else enjoys naptime either today or after The Boss Lady gets a couple of weeks off starting Tuesday. (Had to throw that in to make the other SAHD's jealous!)

I think the 1 year old neighbor will get a couple of push cars, but the older kids are going to get the "Homer" trucks - as The Talker has named my SUV toy.

Friday, June 11, 2004

No Comments

I disabled the comments on this site because I don't want you clowns telling me that I am a liar and that I talk too much. We all know and it is my blog, so go get your own blog and talk bad about me over there.

Email posting!

I am trying to figure out this email posting thing, so that I can more easily annoy you, by posting easily anytime I am near an internet connection. Hope it works

Thursday, June 10, 2004

The Princess

says shots suck!


I changed 18 diapers yesterday. May not sound like a lot, but that works out to more than 2 per hour if you take out sleep time for The Princess and The Talker. One diaper every 25 minutes.

Yes, I do have time to think about these things. No I did not need a calculator to figure out how many diapers per hour I changed!*

I hope The Talker decides to be house-broken soon!

*No guarantee that my calculations are correct. If you want the truth, go watch Fox News or CNN. Watch 'em both at the same time and see if your liberal side can beat up your conservative side...

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Welcome to ADHDaddy

I decided that this was a great title for a blog, so I had to grab it. I don't know what I will do with it, but we shall see...

I promise, it won't get too bad, or The Boss Lady will make me go get a job...