Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Grocery woes

I am officially ready for our newest neighborhood grocery store to open. The girl and I needed to make a quick run this morning to our usual store. We hit the doors at the crack of 10:15 am. Yeah, early risers, we are.

Anyways, the store looked like a WalMart at 3 am. You know, pallets and carts of groceries blocking every aisle. It did not take me long to decide that this store isn't really needing my business today.

Still, I was not wanting to make another grocery run later today. So we compromised. I put back everything that was not essential. Milk, nanners, Dr Pepper. The rest of the stuff in my cart went into a pile in the middle of the cereal aisle. We did not really need the beer, chips, salsa or other goodies.

Cashier saw me and asked why I pulled everything out of the cart. Honesty is the best policy, right? So I told him "There is so much junk piled up back there that I don't really think it could make the store look any worse. Do you?" He wanted to get a manager for me to complain. I just wanted to get out of there before some of the crap they had piled up fell over on us and we were crushed under a mountain of Pringles.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

First you get the money...

So back in April, the third child was born. Err, bought. And since then I have been stocking up on a few games.

All but one or two have come from the used game store, including all of the favorites, Madden 07 football, Simpson's Road Rage and as of last night, Grand Theft Auto - Vice City.

I spent the entire night whooping up on street thugs, cops and hookers and stealing their cars and money. Good Times! And then I realized that this is a lot like an over the top and overly dramatic view of life on the preschool playground.

So the next kid that makes The Princess cry out there better watch himself.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Annoying Callers Redux

More than a year ago we were getting calls from an unidentified 800 number. So I handled it like an adult. I just ignored the problem and eventually it went away.

This summer I have found a new phone nemesis. Identified on Caller ID as 18006787720W&A. The big problem? Besides the three or four calls a day, every @#$) day? They claim to be from a law firm but they are using one of those computerized phone dialing and answering services. So I hung up on them.

And now these jokers have ruined it for everyone. So pass the word. AtHomeDaddy will no longer accept computer generated phone calls. I won't talk to the computer or listen to the computer. I WILL hang up on the computer-caller, though.

And NEVER again will I answer an unidentified call. THAT'S why we HAVE caller ID in the first place, right.

Friday, September 07, 2007

I'm one step closer to the Father of the Year

And this is the guy who put LOSER in closer...

Check this great dad out...

I wonder if they will let him eat his sack lunch outside.

A side note, is it always nice to see someone from my home county making something of himself. First Jessica Simpson, then Kelly Clarkson. Now Paul Scott Schmidtke. Keep reppin' for the home town, guys!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Friday, August 24, 2007

I wouldn't wear it, but I'll laugh for days if you do...

Thanks Terry, for the great laughs today. Drive yourself over to Texas and get a sack lunch any time you want.

I wasted enough time laughing about this t-shirt that I just had to know where I could buy one if I were so inclined.

But just for the record, I don't laugh when I see those things hanging underneath a truck's rear bumper.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Dr. Not So Smart, I presume.

This morning I got an message in my personal mail that I just really did not need to see before... well, ever.

For some reason I ended up on a group email that a Dr was sending out to some of his cohorts. He was discussing a recent surgery he had done and graciously provided some really disgusting pictures of the inside of some college student's ankle.

I wondered what the hell was going on, but I pretty quickly deleted the email and figured that was the end of my involvement in ankle reconstructions. As we were leaving for a play date, more than 20 email responses came from the others who were evidently supposed to get this email. So I fired off a quick email and I used the reply all function, just like these REAL Doctors had done.

Hi. i am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. Please remove my email address from further discussions on broken ankles, knees, or anything else that might give me the heebie jeebies.

And Dr Joe, Those pictures were a little too graphic for me before I have had a couple of cups of coffee, but thanks for sharing.


If nothing else, maybe this guys buddies can razz him a little bit about the creepy guy who chimed in during the middle of their busted ankle email chat. And now, after we got home, I found that one of the Docs on the list responded directly to me, asking if I was the Mike that he knew.

So I replied to him.

I am a pretty popular guy. SO you may know me. But I don't think I know you. Still, will you give me a discount on surgery if I blow out my knee while playing backyard soccer with the kids?

Hopefully this guy will get a chuckle out of my response. But if he ever cuts into my knee, I don't want to see the pictures.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I caused it myself
but that does not mean
I won't whine about it...

The downside to letting the kids listen to Radio Disney in the new car has become perfectly apparent today. The boy has been hearing promos for High School Musical 2 for months. And I decided that he could stay up late last night and watch the premier showing. Now I have had all those damn songs stuck in my head ALL DAY LONG.

The next person who asks "What Time Is It?" might get stabbed in the freaking head with a screwdriver. Got it?

That's right, Disney bitches, it's time to do some bodily harm for getting your catchy pop tunes all jammed up in my brain.

But the upside is Zac and his pals have given me a new reason to whine about life. So this blog must live on a while longer.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Time to let go?

I think I am going to put this blog to bed. I'll decide soon. It looks like I have only made 25 or so posts over here since January 1st. Probably not enough to keep messing around with it. Sadly, I just don't seem to have a lot to bitch about lately.

Sucks, don't it?

Monday, July 02, 2007

What a nice pile

Our neighborhood is getting a new a-hole. Or at least I assume we are, since a whole house full of 'em just moved out.

There are a couple of 5 bedroom houses up the street from us and a couple of genius landlords decided that it was as good idea to start renting them out to college kids. Now living in a college town is great. And I always loved working around the students. It kept me feeling young.

But our neighborhood is across town from the university. And it definitely isn't a party zone. In one of the houses, the parties were fairly manageable. We had a pact. If they were too loud, I yelled over the fence and they shut the hell up. It worked for us all. Even better that after one school year they had trashed the inside of the house, so the owner decided to boot those guys and re-hab the house for rental to families. Problem solved.

But in the other house, the jerks lived like you would assume a 5 bedroom house full of dudes would live. Loud parties, lots of trash, loose dogs and stray women all over the place... It was A LOT of fun to have those guys in the 'hood. Yeah, right. When we begged them to keep the noise down, they just got louder.

Now that house is trashed outside and I can't imagine the inside is any better. The junk-i-ness was compounded by the fact that the jerks stayed there for 3 years. They must have graduated last year, though. The parties did not seem to be as loud or to go all weekend anymore.

I was running around this morning and I saw a great thing, a mountain of trash and junk at the curb. They have all moved out! Now the whole neighborhood has a reason to party!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Sitting on yer ass makes yer back ouchie

I spent the whole weekend being lazy and relaxing. Nice, huh? Well, during all of that couch time I must have tweaked my back, 'cause it hurts.

The only real physical work I did all weekend was a little tree trimming yesterday. But that was over in like 15 minutes. I did a little bit of laundry, too. But mainly I watched racing. Formula 1, Indy Cars, Drag Racing, NASCAR Cup and Busch series. I caught them all this weekend.

Maybe it was all the G Forces. Those Formula 1 cars pull some wicked Gs.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Not one to air dirty laundry in public, today I feel like complaining about clean laundry...

I give up! I surrender. She wins.

Two weeks ago The Boss lady folded some laundry. That isn't a huge surprise. Nor do I have a problem with it. For goodness sakes, there is nothing I hate worse than folding and putting away the laundry. (Which are two steps of the same process, by the way.) But after the folded clothes sat in a chair in the living room for a week, I moved them out of the way. I just never got around to putting them away.

Finally they got pushed to the side of the living room for another week or so. As far as I was concerned, they could just live there. Have I ever told you how much I hate folding AND putting away the laundry...

Anyways, I gave up. The laundry is now put away. And I feel like such a quitter.

Of course, the couch is covered in clothes waiting to be folded, so I guess I won in the end.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Learn CPR.
You might save your daughter's life.

I am taking a quick break from the usual silliness and whining that inhabits my blog. Also, this is going up on all the blogs. Sorry for the repition, but it is the only important thing I've had to say in a long time.

Tonight we went to our first AAA minor league baseball game of the season. We were having a great time, hanging out on the left field berm. The kids were going crazy. And they cheered when an 8 or 10 year old girl near us caught a foul ball that the left fielder flipped up to the crowd.

Less than 5 minutes later that girl was unconscious and not breathing. We have no idea what happened. EMTs made it around pretty quickly. But not before the girl's dad had to start rescue breathing. She was out for several looooong minutes. Not just passed out from excitement, mind you. This was blue all over, motionless on the ground not breathing.

How scary is that? Your kid is having a great time and then a couple of minutes later she stops breathing.

When we left the park the girl was sitting upright with loads of attention coming at her from the Fire Fighters and Paramedics that had responded. Looks like she was lucky, She has a hero for a dad. Here's hoping I never have to be my daughter's breath.

So anyways, here is a quick online CPR reference. Please review it in case it has been a while since you took a class. Then please, please, PLEASE take a class to get more familiar with CPR procedures. Go here or go here to get help finding a class in your area. I'll be looking for a refresher course in the morning.

Modem move

Since our desktop and the wife's laptop both use our wireless router for an internet connection, I moved the modem and router away from the computer cabinet a while back.

I did it for two reasons. One, we were out of power in the living room. Every outlet is filled and I am already running a power strip/surge protector for the computer system and entertainment center. The other reason, our phone line in the living room died and it cost more to replace the line than to install a wireless card into our desktop. So that is what I did. We already had the wireless router running for the wife's computer.

Anyways, I did not have a good spot for the router and modem, so they ended up plugged into a phone jack behind our bed. A neighbor convinced me yesterday that might not be the best place for it. He says the radio frequencies might not be good for you. So I moved everything to the kitchen yesterday.

I did not want the modem and router sitting on the kitchen counter, so I set them up inside one of our cabinets. I just had to drill a hole for the phone line to pass through. Seems like a good idea. Nothing under the bed and nothing cluttering up the kitchen either.

Of course, once I tried to log back into the system, our internet connection would not work. I had to deal with the tech service guys to get them to reset my password. I had already figured out that was the glitch.

Anyways, the guy reset my password easily enough. But when I tried to get off the phone after that he wanted to walk me through a bunch of other steps to ensure everything was set-up properly. I ended up spending more time on the phone convincing him, and eventually one of his supervisors that I was capable of setting up my own dang wireless network, than I did getting the problem taken care of.

Anyways, now that everything is running right again, I thought I would send out a gripe to the over-friendly tech support guys. Dude, just let it go. I'll be OK. I swear. And if not, you gave me a work order number and a callback number to get right to your desk just in case.

Thanks for the password reset. Can I have my half hour back now?

Friday, March 30, 2007


Funny stuff! Thanks to Cubicle Dad for posting it up.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I have a new arch enemy

two of them, actually. Which is kind of nice. Now I have some guys to blame all of the world's problems on.

The morons who run the soccer league that The Talker is in are going to be the death of me. It wasn't too bad last year as a parent, but now I am the coach and I have to hear from these guys several times a week.

We are now a week into the season and they just sent out all new schedules. Seems they decided to change things up at the last minute. So I spent an hour making sense of their emails and trying to get good information out to the parents. Grrrrrr.

These geniuses say they don't want anyone coaching kids without a team shirt on, but they forgot to include adult sized shirts in their order. So I am still without a uniform that they require and supply. Guess I'll be the coach in the blue Hawaiian shirt all season.

The soccer brain trust did not even get the field OK'd until last Saturday morning. We ended up playing at a High School, on their marching band's practice field. Which is where we were supposed to play all along, but they did not know if the school would allow it or not this season. Can you say "Call the damn Principal and ask if we can use the field?"

Anyways, 7 more weeks to go, unless I kill the geniuses and end up dealing with a life sentence instead.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Well, that did not last long...

I was blogging elsewhere about being nice to people. And then the cable company emailed me. And I just don't think is possible for me to be nice to them any more.

They have an underground line buried in our backyard. And I have to give them access to it when it needs repair or replacement, but they just have to go and be stupid about it all the damn time.

See, I sent this 2 weeks ago:
On Feb 7 Time Warner Service ran a new line for my neighbors service and left the wire laying on the grass. It has been laying in my grass for 19 days. I need to be contacted about when this wire will be buried, so that I can properly secure my yard and pets.

By the way, there will be no access to my yard for any work crews from March 8th - March 20th.
I got an instant email back, saying they would reply within 3 days. Who in the hell gives employees 3 days to respond to customer service emails? And now, two weeks later I get this:
Thank you for your customer service inquiry. I apologize for the delayed response and for any inconvenience this may have caused. I scheduled an appointment for the first available date in April. On Monday, April 2nd, between 8am-12pm a tech will be out to bury the line in your yard. Please give me a call or send me an email if this is not a convenient time...
Another month to wait? I fired off this:
What a crock. It has taken two weeks to get a response AND the cable has lay in my yard for 3 weeks BEFORE that! AND you can't get a crew out until April? I am glad I am no longer a customer, because this would be the end of our relationship!

Did I tell you I loves me some DirecTV?
I guess I made her laugh or made her mad, because I got another response almost instantly:

I scheduled the appointment for April because you stated you would not be available to provide access to your yard since you were going to be gone in March. I can schedule an earlier appointment if you will be available to secure your pets and make sure the technician has access. Please let me know when would be a convenient time for you.
So I decided that I had wasted enough time on this and fired off a last shot:

No thanks.

I am just highly annoyed that an email response took two weeks. This job could have, and should have, been finished for 5 weeks if the first tech had just done his job.
It would be nice if someone from the company actually took an interest in this and tried to keep it from happening again. But we are not customers, because of crap like this. I might send an email or two, but won't waste any more real time on it.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

NTB - Next Time Bye

Prepping for our road trip, I decided to take our car over to NTB, National Tire and Battery for a $24 rotate and balance of the tires.

There are two stores a few miles from here, one west a couple of exits down the freeway, and one south east less than five miles away. We have never done business with either store, so I stopped at the closer store because I am lazy. The store was closing in 95 minutes BUT if I wanted to wait, they "would get my car finished tonight".

I was a little curious why he said tonight, when it was only 4:25 in the afternoon. But being lazy I did not ask. I assumed he meant "we will get right on it, but it might take the full 95 minutes.."

He looked stunned when I said I wanted to wait while they did the rotation and balance this afternoon.

"Sir, It is going to take four or five hours to get to you...


Yeah, we might not be done until 9:30 or so...

I don't think so, see you later, gator."

Then I hopped in the car and drove to the other store. I was there in 8 minutes and they were not terribly busy. Neither was the other store, but that is neither here nor there... These guys got me in and out in 35 minutes. An hour after I left the first store I was home. I guess I know which store I will be going to next time.

And I had stopped at Costco for gas on the way, which almost 20 minutes. But that is a bitch session for another day...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Die Spammers!

Is anyone else getting hit with a lot of spam comments on old posts lately? This blog seems to be getting hit frequently right now. Of course, I have email notifications anytime someone comments, so I can get it deleted quickly.

The odd thing is that they are hitting posts from 6 months - a year ago, not the most recent ones.

Like anyone really is going to see it after they sear my archives over here.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Scofflaw No More

A follow up to my last post, ScofflawDaddy :

I finally got someone to answer the phone this morning. Then they immediately put me on hold for 13 minutes. It was not going too well.

Once they came back to me, I told my sad story and the receptionist/phone answerer/secretary/clerk put me on hold again. Damn hold button.

She finally came back and said that the judge dismissed the $29 charge against me, since they have no idea how I would have ended up with a $29 charge anyways. And they took a little pity since I have a commercial driver's license, that I "must need for work".

No, I did not tell them that I have not used my commercial driver's license in years. But they did not ask. Whatever. $29 for less than a half hour of hassle this morning is a lot better money than I made at work, so I am HappyDaddy once more. Just please let me forget the other hour and a half I have invested in getting this taken care of.

Without getting Tasered.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


That's right. I have run afoul of the law. Too bad it took 6 years and a couple of months for me to feel like a rebel.

I got a speeding ticket on November 14th, 1999. I remember it because later that same day, 11/14/1999, I got ANOTHER speeding ticket. I attended traffic school to keep the first one off of my driving record. And I could not do driving school for both tickets. I ended up paying the second.

Anyways, now Johnson County, Texas says that I still owe them $29 from that ticket. And if I don't pay up, they will send out a death squad. Or at least swear out a warrant and I could be arrested if I got pulled over again. Which I have not done since 11/14/1999. (Well there was that one time that The Boss Lady put her registration sticker in the glove box instead of ON THE windshield. She was in the car with me and showed the cop the sticker. He let me go with a laugh, since the wife had gotten me pulled over...)

Anyways, I have been trying to just pay the freaking thing. It just isn't worth the potential hassle over $29. But the one office that can take my payment by credit card by phone won't answer the damn phone. I called three times today and at least 10 times yesterday. Along with a few times the day I got a letter about this matter. And once or twice between then and now.

And answering the damn phone seems to be a pretty important first step to do any bidness by phone, dontchathink?

So Justice of the Peace Stiles, give me a call sometime. I am sure we can work this out without anyone getting Tasered.

Especially me.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Choking the chickens on Elvis' B-day

The center of downtown was shut down for half the day today. Thanks to a slew of dead flying rodents.

But you know Austin Bills itself as the Live Music Capital of the World, right? Maybe this was simply a Austin Convention and Visitors Bureau PR stunt.

Happy birthday Elvis. Here is a 14 dozen dead bird salute for your 71st.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Wishes beyond his years

Took the kids to the Children's Musuem this morning. They had a wall half covered in hand written children's New Year resolutions. One of them made me laugh out loud. Either the kid didn't have enough paper to finish the resolution, or he is really thinking ahead (wink wink nudge nudge).

"This year I want to get more"

My dirty little mind decided that is my resolution, too. Yep, I want me some more.

All year long.

Monday, January 01, 2007

The waiver to end all waivers

Check out this waiver from back when Racecar Man and I went to watch the building of an Extreme Makeover House.

You can click on the pic for more detail.

The part about "...Throughout the universe, in perpetuity..." just cracks me up. If I had known how to write a waiver like that, I might still be in the business.

And I am REALLY glad that I don't live in that neighborhood...