World Record Pre-Teens

While taking The AtHomeKids for a walk this afternoon I witnessed one of the funniest things in a long time. Several of the older elementary aged kids down the street were huddled around a paperback book. When we came into view they scattered. Hmmm... what kind of book could that be, I wondered?

One of the braver, or dumber, kids decided to let me in on the joke. They had a copy of Guinness Book of World Records and they were trying to look up THE DIRTY ones.

Evidently they are not very good pervs, because the best they had found was a record for the most tattooed woman. He swore, though, that if you looked real close you could see....

No, I did not go tell their mothers. Yes, I do know who their mothers are. No, The Boss Lady will not be telling their mothers, either. If the mothers wanted to know, they would not be letting their boys have smut like that.

Didya know

That if you take Get Up and Bounce Tigger and knock him face down on the rug it looks like he is getting busy with the floor?

Don't even ask what happens when you lay him on top of Hokey Pokey Elmo, because I certainly would not know. That would be sick, you pervert.

A Little Motivation is All I Need

AtHomeDaddy believes he has found the perfect guitar class for mid-30's, fatter-than-they-used-to-be, non-balding, aspiring rock stars. (PSSST.... Hey, buddy, go there to scope co-eds and maybe learn to play the guitar.)

There are a lot of reasons to love living in a college town. Good sports, good music, lotsa co-eds.

And let's just be honest, I did not sign up for the class knowing that 13 of 15 students would be girls with guitars. I signed up online, so how would I have known? It is not like there is some nefarious rumor-mill letting dads and fat old men know where to go to scope co-eds, right?

ADHDaddy Still Banner Free

So I noticed today that Blogger has a new banner bar on AtHomeDaddy. Guess they have not found ADHDaddy without the banner, yet.

Gotta Google later to find a new solution.


Addendum - Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:25 AM

The banner bar disappeared from AtHomeDaddy. Maybe I hallucinated it. The banner bar has not reappeared over here at all. What a shame.

Props to My Boy

A big "Thank You" and a big wet sloppy kiss from The Big White Dog to my boy, KB for his excellent ideas in response to my post Got Any Good Ideas? from a few days ago. He is a wealth of great ideas for revenge and pranks.

But know this: As of 8:51 pm on September 8, 2004, The AtHomeDaddy does not have a criminal record. That may change to ensure peace and quiet reigns again in suburbia! I'll let you know more about how it works out later. Maybe after the trial. I don't want to reveal too much, because you may be my character witness.

Hey KB, I scouted out the site - access to the switch - NO Problem!

Guitar Classes Then the World Tour

So we are hanging out at the house, listening to a little music. The Boss Lady asks me, "Who is this band?"

I reply, "Todd Snider".

"What???????"

"Todd Snider" I repeated.

"Oh, I thought you said Pot Smoker..."

Now that I have my band name, I just gotta learn a few chops on the guitar and TBL has got to learn to not talk to me while I am updating the blog...

Idiot Frat Boys Revisited

OK, from now on, The idiot frat boys up the street will be knows only as The Pi Iota Alphas (The PIAs) - also know as the Pain in the Ass boys - or the PI*s on 'em All Boys, take your pick). This revelation came to The Boss Lady as we were driving to the fabric store to let The Talker pick out a pattern for his Halloween Costume.

So it has been declared: The PIAs are to be know as such until they leave my neighborhood. Hopefully, soon.

Got Any Good Ideas?

AtHomeDaddy needs to get rid of a few idiot frat boys. These insidious creatures invaded our neighborhood last year and they breed like @#(*&%* cockroaches. Celebrating a football win, they partied until at least 2:30 am. Yes, we live in a university town, but we do not live anywhere near the school. These guys moved in when a big house came up for rent.

I am bored with calling the police and going up there to remind them 'Shut the hell up, pretty please'. I know you guys are a lot more screwed up and creative than me, so bring me your best ideas. The closer your idea encroaches to a felony, the more attention it will receive.

C'mon, please. Comments are now open on this blog, just so you can share in the joy of wiping these worthless idiots off of the earth, or at least, pushing them closer to campus. Don't want to comment, you can always email AtHomeDaddy.

Black Truck Sighting

The AtHomeTrio was out walking when a black truck pulled down the street slowly, and then backed up. I thought maybe frat boys had been checking out the blog. How else could word get out so quickly that AtHomeDaddy now has a vendetta.

Luckily, he pulled into a driveway. Turns out this sighting was just a pizza delivery guy. Good thing, 'cause AtHomeDaddy has already gotten puked on today by The Talker. I don't need to get my butt kicked by a frat boy, too. That would likely be the end of my manhood.

Maybe another time, truck-boy.

PS - Don't you think it is kind of sad when you see someone delivering pizzas in a nice car? Here is an idea...Get a clunker to roll the pizzas to the neighborhood and save that ride...

Black Truck

There is someone in AtHomeDaddy's neighborhood that should do the world a favor and drive their black truck into a ravine and die.

We were out walking along the main road into the neighborhood. Dude drives at least 60 on the wrong side of the street to pass two cars. On a residential street. He got within 15 feet of The AtHomeTrio.

I have walked the neighborhood and I think I found him. The Alleged Dude lives in a rent house that has been taken over by frat boys. Time for AtHomeDaddy to explain his feelings about idiot drivers to this jerk. Hell, I think I'll throw in my feelings about frats for free! I'll keep looking for other black trucks, but for now he the prime Dude suspect.

If AtHomeDaddy disappears, just assume that the Dude/Frat re-education did not go smoothly and I had to haul some truck parts into the woods. It should work. The black parts will be easy to hide and there just happens to be a ravine close.