Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Once more, with FEELING, dumb ass!

I have blogged elsewhere about the way the idiots drive near my kid's school. Of course, that was two years ago and things change, right?

Yeah. not so much.

People, I cannot stress this enough... Don't drive like a stupid bastard around a school!

This morning, after I had safely deposited my kids at their classes, I was heading out to the car when I was dang near run over by a parent who was running late. All I got out of the Toyota driving tool was "Oh, sorry, got a little close, eh?"

I stopped the dad and tried my best to explain that although I would not be happy if he had run me over in the parking lot, his whole life would be turned upside down if he killed a kid in the school parking lot simple because he thought driving 45 through there was a good way to save a few minutes in the morning routine. And I only called him a "dumb ass" once!

I am not sure he got it. But I guarantee I'll be watching out for him to do some stupid crap like that again. I was still pissed and his kid was now late for class, so I decided to let it go.

As I was hopping in my car I heard the tell-tale crunch of sheet metal meeting harder metal. Nice! Luckily the parking lot was empty when a stupid prick decided to back out without looking and she rammed her Honda into a big steel basketball pole that sits in the middle of the parking lot.

Nice! Why don't you look before backing up, dumb ass...

Yes, the basketball pole is in the middle of the parking lot. But it has been there for years. And by the scratches along the pole it has withstood a lot of cars bouncing off of it. Actually, last year someone knocked the pole and backboard down. That must have been a helluva hit from a big ass SUV. But I was thrilled that the church who owns the parking lot put the goal back in place a few days later. And they used MORE concrete this time. So I doubt it will fall soon...

To summarize, no kids were harmed in the making of the parking lot fiasco this morning. But I figure at this rate the dumb asses will win and someone will kill a kid before semester break. So from now on, save the driving like a complete moron for the highways. Let the kids get to school without fearing for their lives, OK?

You do that and I will stop calling you a "dumb ass".

Deal?

5 comments:

M said...

School parking lot assholes are the worst. Contact your local police and ask them if they would mind hiding out and watching for a few days. Let them stick it to em! OR, maybe you could dress up in a Village People, I mean police uniform and stand around the parking lot for a few days. They rent them at the costume shop. It would make people think the lot was being watched. I once made a sign and shoved it out the window when these jerks would come speeding past the pick-up line. They freaked when I did it! Then the cops showed up a few days later...I put the sign under the seat and they did better patrole. Good luck you kick ass dad!

Mike said...

OK, so right in the middle of all of the griping at the dad I thought 'this is so bloggable and M will love this story!'

Anonymous said...

I agree completely!!!! Dumb ass indeed...I had a lady knock off my mirror and just kept going!!! I waited 20 minutes for her to come back to the scene...finally as I called the police, she returned to say,"I thought I hit a tree branch!" There is no trees around here!!! I called her insurance company after waiting for ever her to call me back...seems she had 2 wrecks that day. They asked me which one are you? Dumb Ass indeed.
You can call in plates to the police stations non-emergency number and they have no problem visiting with them! I've called in a couple already and enjoy the Hell out of it!!! It's even better when they run the crosswalk/guard. He calls them in with you!!!!

M said...

You were right, I did love this story! Keep up the good work! And if I didn't live so damn far away I would put on a mustache(sp?) and show up to your Dad's breakfest!

Surfer Jay said...

The elementary school near my house just had these huge four foot wide rubber speed bumps installed. If you hit one going fast you basically catch air, lose your suspension, or both. Annoying, and a good idea at the same time.