I suspect it's not just the ladies...

Well I got my first truck, when I was three,
Drove a hundred thousand miles on my knees
Hauled marbles and rocks, and thought twice before
I hauled a Barbie Doll bed for the girl next door
When she paid me with a kiss I began to understand,
There's just something women like about a PickUp Man

When I turned sixteen, I saved a few hundred bucks
My first car was a Pickup Truck
Started cruisin' the town and the first girl I seen
Was Bobbie Jo Gentry the homecoming queen
She flagged me down and climbed up in the cab, and said
"I never knew you were a Pickup Man!"

A bucket of rust, or a brand new machine
Once around the block and you'll know what I mean

You can set my truck on fire, roll it down a hill
But I still wouldn't trade it for a Coupe DeVille
It's got an eight foot bed that never has to be made
You know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tailgates
I met all my wives in traffic jams,
You know there's something women like about a Pickup Man

Pickup Man, as sung by Joe Diffe

At least two family members have gotten rid of pickup trucks this month. Do they think that Marge is going to be theirs to borrow when they want to move? Maybe so. Or maybe they know my truck is cooler than theirs and they just decided to let me reign as the family Pickup Man.

Well, that would be Pickup Man, Jr., since Dad has no plans to get rid of his truck. And remember, when it comes time to move, HIS truck has an automatic transmission AND air conditioning...