Thursday, September 01, 2005

Stick THIS!

You've seen the stickers on the back of minivans, right? The ones that identify the driver's progeny by first name and by whatever activity they excel in. Sometimes the have a team logo or a uniform number...

Anyways, I have always thought they are a little pretentious and snotty. Why else would they only be on SUVs and minivans? And yes, I know there are several of these stickers in my extended family. Tough titty. I've made fun of my relatives for less...

So tonight I saw the highest form of sticker snobbery. A green SUV with two stickers. One on each side of the read window. In the shape of dog bones.

I swear. Outlines of dog bones with the pooch's name inside. One bone read Jake, the other, Sadie. Maybe they do have dog faced kids with canine names?

Who gives a good dog damn what your ugly mutts names are? I've got a freaking registered something or other dog that we paid way too much for. He still chews my shoes and digs up the backyard. Who cares?

Nobody cares. That's who.

Now if Jake and Sadie join the Baseball Team or the High School Marching Band Tuba section, put that on your window. 'Cause that, I'd want to know about.

7 comments:

Chip said...

Wow, I've never seen that around here, but then again I don't live in Texas... All we get around here are the "my kid is on the xxx school honor roll", which is bad enough!

Mike said...

Oh god, please tell me this isn't just a Texas thing. I'd like to think we are smarterer than that.

Clare's Dad said...

We don't have it in Connecticut either. But we have "my child is an honor student at..." and "my kid can beat up your honor student." So I don't feel superior even if it is a Texas thing.

Rick said...

I know the stickers of which you speak. Big round volley/basket balls withe the kids name in them. Softballs/hockey pucks that look like they have been embedded in the rear window.

I have figured out how to keep these off the family truckster. Don't let the kids play organized sports! You didn't play organized sports and you didn't turn out so bad. Of course that band thing kind of messed up you. Are you still having flashbacks?

Mike said...

OK, so it is a southern thing. That's not all bad.

As far as I know, so are catfish, chicken fried steak and moon pies. And I can live off a meal like that.

Thanks for bringing up the band thing. I'll just quit sleeping now, for another few months...

Mike said...

Funny thing is, I think Bro is the one with the worst memories of Band. And he was Mr Band... Drum Major, Band Pres, First Chair, all that.

But he swears his kid will play sports. NO Band!

Ours? Dunno. I like to sleep in late on Saturdays.

Andrew said...

We have them in Arkansas. Are these the same parents that don't want the name of their kids on the internet? Instead, just follow the SUV until the kid is dropped off and you know them by name.