The Pi Iota Alphas had another party Saturday night. Unfortunately, it never got loud enough for us to notice. Several of the neighbors were complaining about the noise, and the cops were even called, again.
We never knew anything was going on. Damn.
Now I have to wait until the next PIA gathering to try out KB's winner idea.
What a shame, because I already have the padlock, so I am ready to go...
Monday, October 04, 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
True Confessions
Yes, AtHomeDaddy did turn on the TV for the Talker at 11:00, so that The Princess could be rocked to sleep.
Yes, it is 12:51, right now and the Talker is still glued to the TV.
But The Princess is still asleep, and the living room and kitchen floors are mopped and the living room has been re-arranged.
Yeah, quality parenting, I know, but the house smells better, too!
Well, The Princess just woke up and it is time for The Talker to take his nap. Man, I just love the days that naps do not overlap. Sigh.
But at least the floors are clean and that funky smell is gone...
Yes, it is 12:51, right now and the Talker is still glued to the TV.
But The Princess is still asleep, and the living room and kitchen floors are mopped and the living room has been re-arranged.
Yeah, quality parenting, I know, but the house smells better, too!
Well, The Princess just woke up and it is time for The Talker to take his nap. Man, I just love the days that naps do not overlap. Sigh.
But at least the floors are clean and that funky smell is gone...
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
World Record Pre-Teens
While taking The AtHomeKids for a walk this afternoon I witnessed one of the funniest things in a long time. Several of the older elementary aged kids down the street were huddled around a paperback book. When we came into view they scattered. Hmmm... what kind of book could that be, I wondered?
One of the braver, or dumber, kids decided to let me in on the joke. They had a copy of Guinness Book of World Records and they were trying to look up THE DIRTY ones.
Evidently they are not very good pervs, because the best they had found was a record for the most tattooed woman. He swore, though, that if you looked real close you could see....
No, I did not go tell their mothers. Yes, I do know who their mothers are. No, The Boss Lady will not be telling their mothers, either. If the mothers wanted to know, they would not be letting their boys have smut like that.
One of the braver, or dumber, kids decided to let me in on the joke. They had a copy of Guinness Book of World Records and they were trying to look up THE DIRTY ones.
Evidently they are not very good pervs, because the best they had found was a record for the most tattooed woman. He swore, though, that if you looked real close you could see....
No, I did not go tell their mothers. Yes, I do know who their mothers are. No, The Boss Lady will not be telling their mothers, either. If the mothers wanted to know, they would not be letting their boys have smut like that.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Didya know
That if you take Get Up and Bounce Tigger and knock him face down on the rug it looks like he is getting busy with the floor?
Don't even ask what happens when you lay him on top of Hokey Pokey Elmo, because I certainly would not know. That would be sick, you pervert.
Don't even ask what happens when you lay him on top of Hokey Pokey Elmo, because I certainly would not know. That would be sick, you pervert.
A Little Motivation is All I Need
AtHomeDaddy believes he has found the perfect guitar class for mid-30's, fatter-than-they-used-to-be, non-balding, aspiring rock stars. (PSSST.... Hey, buddy, go there to scope co-eds and maybe learn to play the guitar.)
There are a lot of reasons to love living in a college town. Good sports, good music, lotsa co-eds.
And let's just be honest, I did not sign up for the class knowing that 13 of 15 students would be girls with guitars. I signed up online, so how would I have known? It is not like there is some nefarious rumor-mill letting dads and fat old men know where to go to scope co-eds, right?
There are a lot of reasons to love living in a college town. Good sports, good music, lotsa co-eds.
And let's just be honest, I did not sign up for the class knowing that 13 of 15 students would be girls with guitars. I signed up online, so how would I have known? It is not like there is some nefarious rumor-mill letting dads and fat old men know where to go to scope co-eds, right?
Thursday, September 09, 2004
ADHDaddy Still Banner Free
So I noticed today that Blogger has a new banner bar on AtHomeDaddy. Guess they have not found ADHDaddy without the banner, yet.
Gotta Google later to find a new solution.
Addendum - Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:25 AM
The banner bar disappeared from AtHomeDaddy. Maybe I hallucinated it. The banner bar has not reappeared over here at all. What a shame.
Gotta Google later to find a new solution.
Addendum - Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:25 AM
The banner bar disappeared from AtHomeDaddy. Maybe I hallucinated it. The banner bar has not reappeared over here at all. What a shame.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Props to My Boy
A big "Thank You" and a big wet sloppy kiss from The Big White Dog to my boy, KB for his excellent ideas in response to my post Got Any Good Ideas? from a few days ago. He is a wealth of great ideas for revenge and pranks.
But know this: As of 8:51 pm on September 8, 2004, The AtHomeDaddy does not have a criminal record. That may change to ensure peace and quiet reigns again in suburbia! I'll let you know more about how it works out later. Maybe after the trial. I don't want to reveal too much, because you may be my character witness.
Hey KB, I scouted out the site - access to the switch - NO Problem!
But know this: As of 8:51 pm on September 8, 2004, The AtHomeDaddy does not have a criminal record. That may change to ensure peace and quiet reigns again in suburbia! I'll let you know more about how it works out later. Maybe after the trial. I don't want to reveal too much, because you may be my character witness.
Hey KB, I scouted out the site - access to the switch - NO Problem!
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Guitar Classes Then the World Tour
So we are hanging out at the house, listening to a little music. The Boss Lady asks me, "Who is this band?"
I reply, "Todd Snider".
"What???????"
"Todd Snider" I repeated.
"Oh, I thought you said Pot Smoker..."
Now that I have my band name, I just gotta learn a few chops on the guitar and TBL has got to learn to not talk to me while I am updating the blog...
I reply, "Todd Snider".
"What???????"
"Todd Snider" I repeated.
"Oh, I thought you said Pot Smoker..."
Now that I have my band name, I just gotta learn a few chops on the guitar and TBL has got to learn to not talk to me while I am updating the blog...
Idiot Frat Boys Revisited
OK, from now on, The idiot frat boys up the street will be knows only as The Pi Iota Alphas (The PIAs) - also know as the Pain in the Ass boys - or the PI*s on 'em All Boys, take your pick). This revelation came to The Boss Lady as we were driving to the fabric store to let The Talker pick out a pattern for his Halloween Costume.
So it has been declared: The PIAs are to be know as such until they leave my neighborhood. Hopefully, soon.
So it has been declared: The PIAs are to be know as such until they leave my neighborhood. Hopefully, soon.
Got Any Good Ideas?
AtHomeDaddy needs to get rid of a few idiot frat boys. These insidious creatures invaded our neighborhood last year and they breed like @#(*&%* cockroaches. Celebrating a football win, they partied until at least 2:30 am. Yes, we live in a university town, but we do not live anywhere near the school. These guys moved in when a big house came up for rent.
I am bored with calling the police and going up there to remind them 'Shut the hell up, pretty please'. I know you guys are a lot more screwed up and creative than me, so bring me your best ideas. The closer your idea encroaches to a felony, the more attention it will receive.
C'mon, please. Comments are now open on this blog, just so you can share in the joy of wiping these worthless idiots off of the earth, or at least, pushing them closer to campus. Don't want to comment, you can always email AtHomeDaddy.
I am bored with calling the police and going up there to remind them 'Shut the hell up, pretty please'. I know you guys are a lot more screwed up and creative than me, so bring me your best ideas. The closer your idea encroaches to a felony, the more attention it will receive.
C'mon, please. Comments are now open on this blog, just so you can share in the joy of wiping these worthless idiots off of the earth, or at least, pushing them closer to campus. Don't want to comment, you can always email AtHomeDaddy.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Black Truck Sighting
The AtHomeTrio was out walking when a black truck pulled down the street slowly, and then backed up. I thought maybe frat boys had been checking out the blog. How else could word get out so quickly that AtHomeDaddy now has a vendetta.
Luckily, he pulled into a driveway. Turns out this sighting was just a pizza delivery guy. Good thing, 'cause AtHomeDaddy has already gotten puked on today by The Talker. I don't need to get my butt kicked by a frat boy, too. That would likely be the end of my manhood.
Maybe another time, truck-boy.
PS - Don't you think it is kind of sad when you see someone delivering pizzas in a nice car? Here is an idea...Get a clunker to roll the pizzas to the neighborhood and save that ride...
Luckily, he pulled into a driveway. Turns out this sighting was just a pizza delivery guy. Good thing, 'cause AtHomeDaddy has already gotten puked on today by The Talker. I don't need to get my butt kicked by a frat boy, too. That would likely be the end of my manhood.
Maybe another time, truck-boy.
PS - Don't you think it is kind of sad when you see someone delivering pizzas in a nice car? Here is an idea...Get a clunker to roll the pizzas to the neighborhood and save that ride...
Black Truck
There is someone in AtHomeDaddy's neighborhood that should do the world a favor and drive their black truck into a ravine and die.
We were out walking along the main road into the neighborhood. Dude drives at least 60 on the wrong side of the street to pass two cars. On a residential street. He got within 15 feet of The AtHomeTrio.
I have walked the neighborhood and I think I found him. The Alleged Dude lives in a rent house that has been taken over by frat boys. Time for AtHomeDaddy to explain his feelings about idiot drivers to this jerk. Hell, I think I'll throw in my feelings about frats for free! I'll keep looking for other black trucks, but for now he the prime Dude suspect.
If AtHomeDaddy disappears, just assume that the Dude/Frat re-education did not go smoothly and I had to haul some truck parts into the woods. It should work. The black parts will be easy to hide and there just happens to be a ravine close.
We were out walking along the main road into the neighborhood. Dude drives at least 60 on the wrong side of the street to pass two cars. On a residential street. He got within 15 feet of The AtHomeTrio.
I have walked the neighborhood and I think I found him. The Alleged Dude lives in a rent house that has been taken over by frat boys. Time for AtHomeDaddy to explain his feelings about idiot drivers to this jerk. Hell, I think I'll throw in my feelings about frats for free! I'll keep looking for other black trucks, but for now he the prime Dude suspect.
If AtHomeDaddy disappears, just assume that the Dude/Frat re-education did not go smoothly and I had to haul some truck parts into the woods. It should work. The black parts will be easy to hide and there just happens to be a ravine close.
Monday, August 23, 2004
oneword
This does not really belong on 'The Dark Side', but it needs a mention somewhere, so here it is:
http://oneword.com/
This is the coolest use of a blog that I have seen, yet. It is helping improve my vocabulary a whole whole whole whole whole whole lot.
Link to be added to the sidebar soon.
http://oneword.com/
This is the coolest use of a blog that I have seen, yet. It is helping improve my vocabulary a whole whole whole whole whole whole lot.
Link to be added to the sidebar soon.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Olympics Coverage
Being home last week, The Talker and I got to watch a lot of Olympics coverage. Cool! Today though, I had to cover the boy's ears during a Water Polo match because the commentator was the dumbest man alive and I did not want my son hearing the idiocy.
The commentator was talking about how much the USA Men's Water Polo team has traveled in the past year. He said something to the effect of 'They have played on every continent in the past year'.
'Impressive, I did not know there was a pool in Antartica. Bet it is indoors and heated', was what I was thinking.
The commentator tried his best to rescind the stupidity, but only made it worse.
He said "Excepting of course, Arctica and Antartica"
Well, of course they have not played in Arctica?!? They could not find the @#*&ing place. Cause it isn't a place.
I hope that dude was not a geography major in college. Spent too much time in the pool and the chlorine rotted his brain.
The commentator was talking about how much the USA Men's Water Polo team has traveled in the past year. He said something to the effect of 'They have played on every continent in the past year'.
'Impressive, I did not know there was a pool in Antartica. Bet it is indoors and heated', was what I was thinking.
The commentator tried his best to rescind the stupidity, but only made it worse.
He said "Excepting of course, Arctica and Antartica"
Well, of course they have not played in Arctica?!? They could not find the @#*&ing place. Cause it isn't a place.
I hope that dude was not a geography major in college. Spent too much time in the pool and the chlorine rotted his brain.
Beatin' the Matrix Part II
Holla at your boy! Thanks to Rick for sharing a little knowledge and helping me fight the good fight. The Blogger buttons are now all gone. Lemme see how long they stays gone.
They probably have rules in their TOS about not messing with the logos... I don't read that stuff, I just click agree. It's how I roll, I'm a rebel.
They probably have rules in their TOS about not messing with the logos... I don't read that stuff, I just click agree. It's how I roll, I'm a rebel.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Beatin' the Matrix
Blogger replaced the Google text ads that I tried to confuse a while back - with a search bar above the title of my blogs last week. If you can see it still, let me know. I found a script online that removed the search bar, because it annoyed me and when I tried to do a search, it never works. I added it to the source code for this blog and AtHomeDaddy.
So for now, no ads, no search bar. Cool! I feel like a real rebel.
So for now, no ads, no search bar. Cool! I feel like a real rebel.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Fun with Pharmaceuticals
The AtHomeTrio went to the grocery store this morning. The pharmacy would not be open for 15 minutes, but AtHomeDaddy decided to wait to pick up a prescription. The photolab was also not officially opened, but that staff member took care of customers so they would not have to wait.
While we were waiting outside the gate, the cashier kept glaring at AtHomeDaddy. AHD is used to chicks checking him out when he is wearing The Princess like a Hip-Hopper's backpack, but this lady was not looking admiringly. She was already pissed and it was not even 9 AM.
When the pharmacy finally opened (a few minutes late), she had the balls to ask "Are you ready?"
I did not respond, but I wanted to say "What the #@(& do you think you @#^*ing @#(*)! Are you a @#(^ing moron, or what?"
Too bad I had my hip-hop baby on and The Talker was sitting right beside me in the race-cart, cause it would have been fun to shove those birth control pills right down that #@)%^'s throat so that she would never breed!
But hey, maybe it is just me. Maybe some of her regular customers think she is helpful and nice. (I bet they don't show up before 9 AM, though!)
While we were waiting outside the gate, the cashier kept glaring at AtHomeDaddy. AHD is used to chicks checking him out when he is wearing The Princess like a Hip-Hopper's backpack, but this lady was not looking admiringly. She was already pissed and it was not even 9 AM.
When the pharmacy finally opened (a few minutes late), she had the balls to ask "Are you ready?"
I did not respond, but I wanted to say "What the #@(& do you think you @#^*ing @#(*)! Are you a @#(^ing moron, or what?"
Too bad I had my hip-hop baby on and The Talker was sitting right beside me in the race-cart, cause it would have been fun to shove those birth control pills right down that #@)%^'s throat so that she would never breed!
But hey, maybe it is just me. Maybe some of her regular customers think she is helpful and nice. (I bet they don't show up before 9 AM, though!)
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Mommy's Day Out
A bunch of the stay at home mommies from our church group are taking their kids to the Children's museum Monday morning. The AtHomeTrio is thinking about crashing that party instead of haning out with the dad's group tommorrow.
The Boss Lady and I have been taking an informal poll to see which of the mommies would be the most scared by the AtHomeDaddy method of child-rearing. Update soon.
Side note:
After hearing about a teen who is now taking anti-depressant meds, AtHomeDady came up with a name for a drug. I should trademark it before revealing it, but I trust you...
Can't you see your neighborhood hoodlum teenager taking a 500 milligram dose of Dopatien (Pronounced - Dope-a-teen). There are several around here who could use a larger dose! I better get in touch with Pfizer.
The Boss Lady and I have been taking an informal poll to see which of the mommies would be the most scared by the AtHomeDaddy method of child-rearing. Update soon.
Side note:
After hearing about a teen who is now taking anti-depressant meds, AtHomeDady came up with a name for a drug. I should trademark it before revealing it, but I trust you...
Can't you see your neighborhood hoodlum teenager taking a 500 milligram dose of Dopatien (Pronounced - Dope-a-teen). There are several around here who could use a larger dose! I better get in touch with Pfizer.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Wierdest Family Ever
Met (sort of) the oddest people on the face of the earth this week at the campground. The Talker rides his bike up to a kid from the next site and asks me "What his name is?" The little boy tells us "I don't tell my name to strangers..."
OK, no problem there. Teaching kids stranger safety. Good idea.
But then the mother comes walking up to the three of us and asks The Other Boy "Did you tell them your name?"
He responds, "No".
She finishes with "Good" and then they walk away.
Freaky. AtHomeDaddy will be watching AMW and checking milk cartons for pics of this family.
OK, no problem there. Teaching kids stranger safety. Good idea.
But then the mother comes walking up to the three of us and asks The Other Boy "Did you tell them your name?"
He responds, "No".
She finishes with "Good" and then they walk away.
Freaky. AtHomeDaddy will be watching AMW and checking milk cartons for pics of this family.
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