Three Days?

The weather has been great here for the past half of a week. But this morning, I got up and realized that allgery season is here. I confirmed what my head and nose were telling me, when I went outside. The yellow glow of cedar pollen is now sticking to everything in sight.

So we got to play outside like crazy for three days. Now, we might not be out again until it is 130 degrees, in the middle of July. At least then, the pollen will have gone away and the wind won't be blowing tree by-products all over. Of course, that is about the time that smoke starts blowing in from Mexico. So then we have to stay inside for the rest of the summer, while Mexican farmers burn the remnants of their spring crops. Viva la smoke!

Stupid air. Who needs it?

Too much sleep, can't function...

The Boss Lady has worked rally hard in the past couple of weeks to get The Princess on a better sleep schedule. Life is sweet, now that the girl creature is in her bed, AND not screaming half of the night.

The only problem is that I seem to be back on a night-time schedule. I did my damnedest to sleep right through the screaming and crying, but now that the house is quiet, I can't seem to settle down to sleep. And I can't get moving in the morning, either (since I am up half of the night, looking up truck stuff on the 'net).

Somebody wanna come over and scream me a lullaby in my ear?

Is it possible

That your brain could actually explode because you have listened to a three-year-old whine too much? I think I might be headed for an aneurysm if this boy does not get house-broken soon.

The dogs were house trained when we got them. The cats figured it out pretty quick. But The Talker? He just ain't getting it. And it makes him whine.

And that makes me whine.

And that makes The Boss Lady whine.

And then the baby whines.



What a fun afternoon. Wanna come over?

I dont wanna

I am turning in my 'Adult Membership Card". I don't wanna be one anymore. Being an adult sucks. I quit.

Having to be the adult isn't fun anymore. I'm done.

Hell, I wasn't even a very good adult. I have always been whiney and bitchy, so maybe I wan't meant to be grown up. I think three years old sounds good to me right now.

So I'm going to take my nap now.

Where is the rest of my dishwasher?

I think we got shortchanged when we bought our dishwasher a couple of years ago. It must be the smallest capacity dishwasher in the world.

Why else would I be running it for the THIRD time today? We did not even eat lunch here. And why did we use 5 pans to cook dinner? It was spaghetti. Who needs 5 pots to make spaghetti?

Keep Your #@(*#) Cookies!

ADHDaddy is really sick of little girls hawking cookies all over town. And just because you happen to recognize me from playgroups at the park, does not mean I am going to fork over $3 just because you kids are blocking the door to the auto parts store.

If I am hanging out at the parts store, on a Saturday afternoon, don't you think maybe my cash is already spoken for? Go set up your tables at the Jaguar dealership. And put a coat on those kids. It is cold and raining out there.

Besides that, we bought an entire case of cookies last week. Right before we bought a treadmill.

Checking the Blogroll

I wanted to check the blogroll on AtHomeDaddy to see if it actually tags the blogs on my list when they are updated.

Here goes. And sorry if I tricked you into coming over here.

WOW!

Walking through the mall tonight, with the AtHomeFam, when TBL and I both noticed a guy wearing a black t-shirt who was standing at a sunglasses kiosk.

The lettering on his shirt took up the entire back of the shirt and each letter was about 6 inches tall. A couple of the letters were blocked with masking tape. But it was obvious what the shirt said. The shirt read:

JESUS
IS A
****

(Insert your favorite four letter curse work in place of the asterisks. Naah, you need to brush up on your curses. It was worse than that.)

It was like a train wreck. I could not stop watching this guy. I really wanted to see it if the skies were going to open up and shoot a bolt of lightning through hishead, right out there in front of The Disney Store.

Good thing The Talker can't read yet. It would not have been nice of me to say "Go ask your mommy." if he had asked "What does **** mean?"

Rain Sucks

So after building the playscape in time for The Talker's birthday party, and completely reworking the backyard, it looks like it will be raining during his party. Yeah!

And if it is not raining, it is supposed to be 45 degrees. Double Yeah!

Or best of all, it might even be raining AND cold! And won't that be fun.

Stupid January weather. This is Texas. It is supposed to be 85 degrees and sunny as Hell in January. Somebody better do something about it, quick!

What's in the Bag, Mister?

It has been a while since I had anything good to post here.

Today it has rained off and on. The kids and I headed to Costco for smoothies and to cruise the aisles. On the way we stopped at a super-sized chain bookstore to read some kids books.

While there, the Talker had to go to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom with both kids and two diaper bags in tow, a staff member wanted to check the bags.

She said I was in there too long for a simple restroom break.

SIMPLE?

Are you f*&)ing kidding me? A diaper change on an 8 month old in a toilet stall, WHILE the three year old is trying to go potty without making a mess? And then a quick change of clothes for The Talker, because he made the mess I was dreading.

More because of how she asked, than anything, but I decided to be as rude as she was. And I scared the crap outta the staff when I said. "No. We are leaving." Three staff were standing at the doors of the store, trying to decide if it was worth chasing me in the rain, once we got to the car.

Maybe the cops will show up at our house sometime today. The Talker would love that for a rainy day distraction.

AtHomeDaddy site probs

AtHomeDaddy is goofed up. Don't worry. It looks like a Blogger problem. I'll be back with a Christmas Day update ASAP!

As of 4:45pm, AtHomeDaddy is back up and running. Never could find it, but I must have a bug in the template. REloaded and we are going strong.

Genius Parents

For the first seven months of her life, The Princess has been a horrible sleeper and a worse napper. This past week, we started letting her sleep on her stomach.

Guess what? She likes it. A LOT. She has slept great all week and she is regularly napping a couple of hours at a stretch.

If we had done this earlier, this blog might not even exist.

Let it End, PLEASE

All I want at the end of tonight is a clear winner in the Presidential election. At this point, I don't even care who it is, I just want to hear a concession speech. Hopefully, with tears.

What are the chances that both major party candidates accidentally concede the election. to the other party, at the same time?

Daddies are Good for SOMETHING...

After The AtHomeTrio got home from the Pediatrician's office, the pharmacy and the grocery store this morning, It was 30 minutes past time for The Princess to have her first bottle. As long as she was moving, she is content and never missed the bottle.

As soon as we got home, I got the bottle out of the fridge and gave it a good shake. Too bad you don't have a picture of my face as most of the milk, breastmilk mind you, flew out of the bottle and hit me in the face. YUCK!

Hey TBL, screw the lid on next time, OK?

Once I recovered AND changed my shirt, I was set to feed The Princess, again. While feeding her, my lap got nice and wet. I thought that I had cracked the bottle while freaking out about the earlier spill. NOPE!

This time, The Princess had something wet to share with her favorite guy. Seems like AtHomeDaddy forgot to close up the diaper at the end of the Dr's visit.

Once I recovered AND changed my pants, I was set to feed The Princess, again...

ADHDaddy is Getting Tired of Advice

Over at AtHomeDaddy, you might have seen the following post, Getting a Response.

The more I think about this woman telling me how to treat my kids, the more ticked off I get. I am pretty sure that dads get a lot more advice about parenting from strangers that moms do. I know this is true in our house. Several times I have gotten unnecessary and unwanted advice from moms "looking to help".

I guess dads just laugh at other dads who look more clueless than themselves. (I know I do!) Next time, I think I'll handle it more directly.

Let's see, how do you spell "Shut up and back-off bitch?" And is back-off hyphenated?

The PIAs Strike Again

The PIAs are trying out some new tricks to piss off the neighborhood. Well, truthfully, they are not trying out anything new, they are just out to completely tick off everyone around.

They actually toilet-papered a neighbor's house last weekend, after she called the cops during their last beer-bash. While trashing her yard, they also smashed her pumpkins in the street.

Though they made a mess, they did do a few things right. First off, they got her wrapped right before a rain storm. Nice touch! But mostly, The PIAs were smart because they stayed out of our yard. Wise choice.

I really would hate to do jail time because some moron trashed my yard and wrapped my trees with toilet paper. But, if it had been necessary...

I'll Give You Two Guesses

How long do you think it takes inkjet ink to move through the GI tract of a six month old.

Answer: About 15 minutes



What do you think that mess is gonna look like when it gets through her digestive system?

Answer: Nope. Not even close. It will be MUCH, much worse than that! It was disgusting. Possibly one of the worst diapers I have ever changed. AND THAT is saying something!



Yep, something disgusting.

Another Football Win, Another Missed Party

I imagine the PIAs were at it again last night, celebrating another win. We did not notice, thanks to the never-ending birthday party. I am sure it is not because they were quiet. That will not happen until they all flunk out and have to move home with mommy. Hopefully, that WILL happen, SOON.

I Hate Getting Left Out

The Pi Iota Alphas had another party Saturday night. Unfortunately, it never got loud enough for us to notice. Several of the neighbors were complaining about the noise, and the cops were even called, again.

We never knew anything was going on. Damn.

Now I have to wait until the next PIA gathering to try out KB's winner idea.

What a shame, because I already have the padlock, so I am ready to go...

True Confessions

Yes, AtHomeDaddy did turn on the TV for the Talker at 11:00, so that The Princess could be rocked to sleep.

Yes, it is 12:51, right now and the Talker is still glued to the TV.

But The Princess is still asleep, and the living room and kitchen floors are mopped and the living room has been re-arranged.

Yeah, quality parenting, I know, but the house smells better, too!

Well, The Princess just woke up and it is time for The Talker to take his nap. Man, I just love the days that naps do not overlap. Sigh.

But at least the floors are clean and that funky smell is gone...